Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Mon Fish Francais

Ilya de l'eau partout... Sur la surface de l'eau, ya des ombres des arbres qui dancent. L'air pleine de mystere, attend une miracle ce soir. Des passagers les regardent avec un regard vide, non, pas pour s'en moquer, au contraire avec des millions de questions. Un poisson orange sautent du lac et respire un peu dans l'air a l'exterieur. Il s'appele A_. Mais c'est pas il, peut etre que c'est elle. Elle le sait aujourd'hui ce que c'est de ne pas etre un "Fish Francais". Non, la langue n'est pas le probleme. Le probleme me bloque quand iln'ya que le il pour decrire la/e A_. Que A_ ne sait pas ce que c'est de ne pas etre mouillee, qu'elle ne sait pas si les autres ils sont aussi comme elle(il), c'est marrant. Sont tous les autres aussi, Un fish francais? Ou ont ils jamais tente a traverser les limites aussi fluides que celles de l'eau?
C'est une question. Une guerre de ce qui est naturel, normal et compagnie contre des idees, reves et espoirs qui ne se reveillent qu'a 3h du matin avec ton visage en face de la fenetre ou tu vois ton visage dans l'eclat d'une nouvelle lumiere. Pense...

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Ragged Robin fantasy

I want. Become. Kombination. KKKtookmybabyaway.Shaman.Lord Fanny.
I see a red door and I want it painted black
No colors anymore I want them to turn black
I see the girls walk by dressed in their summer clothes
I have to turn my head until my darkness goes
I see a line of cars and they're all painted black
With flowers and my love both never to come back
I see people turn their heads and quickly look away
Like a new born baby it just happens ev'ry day
I look inside myself and see my heart is black
I see my red door and it has been painted black
Maybe then I'll fade away and not have to face the facts
It's not easy facin' up when your whole world is black
No more will my green sea go turn a deeper blue
I could not foresee this thing happening to you
If I look hard enough into the settin sun
My love will laugh with me before the mornin comes
I see a red door and I want it painted black
No colors anymore I want them to turn black
I see the girls walk by dressed in their summer clothes
I have to turn my head until my darkness goes
Hmm, hmm, hmm,...
I wanna see it painted, painted black
Black as night, black as coal
I wanna see the sun blotted out from the sky
I wanna see it painted, painted, painted, painted black

I just wanteth hum you, hum hum ho hum.
I just want to paint the whites robes real black
I wish to drown in your eyes beady black
Black. Sheep. Shaman black

Monday, November 17, 2008

I rode a Streetcar named desire, Ergo Blanche

There is Blanche inside, you will know where to head. Assume I am Blanche, much more too and read:

Mary Lou Hopkins meet Cassandra Cuthbert. We are pessimistic and would love some black coffee. Balaclava estate. Sugar, Madame? The whims of a constitution cannot affect production," she grunted. Fish odour induces nausea. Salt and pepper could make things better. Poodles don't chew on noodles, bella! All around is gloom, forget economic boom! Myelin sheath...zzz...System is a downer. Caffeine is just what proletariat don't need. Bang, bang. We know somebody is guilty. Nobody, is criticised for not taking responsibility. Everybody shall be blamed, for the rotten haricots and apricots.

Oh! To see you, so Pretty, so Clean and so Mad!

Oh beauty! What-a-beauty! Her glance and my eyes are glued. She can just not shed beauty in the last of her sneezes. How captivating, ma cherie! You, the mistress of quagmire heartlands of unnerving grandeur in the most fickle moments, only you have the right to be. For the rest, there are niches to hide their mediocre chiselled yellow stones. Since a few days, all my stares and attention focused on a certain cat lover lady just gasp out the above mentioned. But then I slyly lowermy gaze and scan my own arena. Pha! It shames me to possess something so imperfect, tanned uneven and worse, speckled with hair on various mounds and corners. Then it sorta rings clear, to be beauty, to be pretty, to be clean, to be hairless to your toe nail, is just my aspiration indeed, subconsciously though.
While last week I was hurling bollocks at cruel men and still settling from the mustard brown self peering out of the mirror, reflecting Kerala earth colors, it suddenly struck, the Susheela Raman chant:

Woman, where’s your dignity?
How can you lie there while the lover destroys you?
He doesn’t know your worth
But you bear his burden and make it yours
Why do you cry?
Woman, don’t be tortured by a madman
You’ve got to get out
The prison door is open
Woman, why do you rest here?
Is your love an ignorant sacrifice?
Roles you learned to play
Conspire against you and hold you down
Why don’t you fight...

Though, mine was a different plea, almost exasperated. Woman, why do you shed so much hair? Is it not a beautiful part of you? Why does it belittle you so much, the same tentacle that is a man's pride? Why do you pour hot wax or take big sharp knives and wage a war on your poor body? Is it so hideous? And then it struck that romantic pleas won't affect the trend. One should rationally reason it. This all started with Binoo K. John's book "Entry from Backside only". While Mr. John very comfortably rants away on how subverted Indian English is hilarious to its guts, he gets muddled up with his liberat-ist stance. He was talking about a certain beauty parlor advert. reading "full arm leg wax..." etc and just to point out some apparent rib tickling humor streak he says (sic)"... this is supposed to be an advert for some place where bear-skinned women go to..."
Hence started the boggling of mind. How dare you! You, o bearer of long,short, dark, coarse, smooth, curly,straight,waves,curls and stubbles springing from every nano inch of your masculine physical space, dare even notice my little strands of visible black protein! And then, further started a humanistic inquiry in it. To think of, when a person failing any apparent medical reason, just goes and pours hot wax on one's body, trust me it hurts. And worse, when you pull out every strand of hair, it hurts even more. This is only to drive home the point that "hysteria", a literal madness surrounds a female mind when it comes to things like "perception of beauty", "Self image", "acceptance/love" etc.
Such beauty treatments are only one aspect of this whole purple painting. Same happens with the much cliched ms. universe shite. Why on earth would anyone give a shit about a woman who starves herself to death, gets 16 people to comb her hair, applies all sorts of chemicals to hide natural processes that her biological body has to go through, wears clothes to reveal enough and hide something (not like no one knows beneath)? Moreover, woman, who decides if you are pretty enough, why do you constantly want to be assured of it, why does the thought itself of a beautiful body that should please other eyes, excite you so much? What is this desire to be so pretty, so clean and perhaps, so globally commonly mad?

Monday, November 10, 2008

The Gujju Colonizer

I goes to Kerala, full thoughts in mind about "mallu" insects swarming the land and sweat and coconut oil flooding the place. Been a long time I wrote I know. Actually I did have not photus to add. I still do not of real pleicuz in Keraylaa.
See, honestly the trip was no different. It does matter not whether young Werther goes to Kaashmeer or Kerayla. All peoples looks same only. All foods we carrying along iz Gujjuice only. So, for ten days there I eated Gujjuice foods and I drinked coconut water ( which is by thee way cheaper in Gujarat). I see Elephants with big big trunks and two two teeths outside eating grass. Aunty with big big goggles said " Oye, I see more fat elephant in aapnu Amdavad! and *snigger* Pinky finded pani puri in Kerayla." What fun, no? Everywhere in India, Gujjuice brand is international! We menace poor natives, we brings our own bags loaded with theplas, we shout out loud, we wear flamboyant clothes and we make fun of any bloody pagan sounding unfamiliar word!
Of course, of course, we are the only civilized, fun loving rich peoples around!
So, I am posting one of the happy memories photo. Later will come more "scene-scenery" photos.