Genetic affinity to Jerks

This sounds so incredibly girlie and "how opal mehta..." kinds considering that this rant must not even be original. But, the more I wonder, the clearer I see a pattern in the kind of people I end up falling for or admiring. They are all, as some people say, Jerks, with a capital J. Jerks because all of them come with an expiry date of association and because all of them are highly unique, information seeking, self-obsessed and most importantly, emotionally challenged (by choice or disposition). The fact that people are so self immersed drives me nuts and draws me to them. But, then they cannot understand that happy beginnings should conventionally end up as happy endings. In most cases that surround me, chicks and monkeys with lower I.Q and worse looks have been able to secure huge groups of friends and their special charming toads. Somehow, I seem to be inadpet at either. I almost never crave for a huge group of friends but I would love to have my own toad who is hungry to know more, wants to travel, eat almost anything, reads when s/he is not asleep, watches movies and listens to music when s/he is not reading and sleeps when neither of this is happening. Of course wakes up only to talk to me. Probably it is too much idealism etc but then, why not? I am sure there are those kinds. I am so bored of lawyers, DJs, designers, teachers, musicians, poets and engineers. Can't there be a hybrid? But by this time, my cup of coffee is over, people are staring because I seem to break into tears the next moment(thats how my face becomes when I think too much) and I get up, eh, why bother so much when in the end you want to quit them all and run away on an individual journey. With all this exams bothering I can't even read, eat or write in peace. Broke as I am, can't go to cinema. Is there no middle option between riding a bike and learning everything at the radio station? I am tired of jerky rides, I want a smooth road for a while to laze around.